Top Ten Things that Would be Different if the Disciples Were Gay 1). Fewer "Sermons" on the Mount, more "Musicales." 2). Jesus wouldn't wear a white robe after Labour Day 3). Priests would not get married ...hey, wait a minute ... 4). Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce 5). Virgin Mary's hair would be flawless. 6). Would not have chased money changers out of the temple - they would have redecorated. 7). Turned water into beer. 8). Triumphant Entry into Jerusalem just *screams* for a drag number. 9). Replace "Blessed are they" in the Beatitudes with "Fabulous are they.." 10). Instead of the Last Supper, it would have been the Last Brunch with a cabaret.