THE NATIONAL SHARED PARENTING ASSOCIATION

                ***** "Families mending Fences..". *****
TORONTO - NATIONAL CHAPTER			MONTREAL - NSPA QUEBEC
& NSPA - ONTARIO
Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert			Walter Perry
P.O. Box 114, 					Tel: (514) 483-0740
Station A,					mialbert@total.net
Toronto, Ontario
M5W 1A2
1 888 543-2339 					HALIFAX - NSPA NOVA SCOTIA
Tel (416)861-0626 				Rick Johnson
Fax (416)861-1932				Tel: (506) 455-3568
doppler@total.net				richjohnson@sprint.ca
REGINA - NSPA SASKATCHEWAN			CALGARY - NSPA ALBERTA
Randy Liberet, 					Sean Cummings
Tel: (306) 789-1359				Res:(403) 275-2532
						dpr@istar.ca
FREDERICTON - NSPA NEW BRUNSWICK
Melynda Jarrat
Res: (506) 455-3568
justus@nbnet.nb.ca
___________________________________________________________________________
April 10th, 1998
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
	HEALING CHILDREN'S HEARTS - NSPA QUEBEC INAUGURAL CONFERENCE
			APRIL 25TH AND 26TH, 1998
				10 AM - 4 PM
		      QUEEN ELIZABETH HEALTH COMPLEX
		       2100 MARLOWE, NDG - MONTREAL
		      *****************************
		      THE COST OF ATTENDING IS FREE.
		      *****************************
 			"FAMILIES MENDING FENCES..."
The National Shared Parenting Association, is a newly formed national
network of parent, grandparent, family, community groups and professionals.
We provide helpful divorce education and recovery concepts that assist
divorcing families to implement shared parenting solutions.Currently we are
organizing the national association through a series of regional
consultations and inaugural meetings across Canada.

 

REVISED - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - April 27th, 1998

 

Colleagues,

I've just arrived back from Montreal. It was a very good conference, attended by leaders from across Quebec representing groups from Montreal and Quebec City.

The media coverage was from CJAD AM Radio, CBC FM Radio, and the Montreal Gazette. CFCF TV came by, but unfortunately we were on lunch break and they were looking for some visuals do to a voice-over on (meaning they sent a camera-man, but no reporter).

On average, over the two days there were 48 participants at the conference. The largest turnout was on Saturday afternoon which saw 56 in attendance, the lowest attendance was the 1st hour of Sunday of 21.

The organizing committee consisting of Walter Perry, Mark Albert Danny LaBonte and Danny Petrie did an excellent job in getting the word out amongst those in the Montreal Region about NSPA, its vision, goals and methods, who we are, our operating structure, how we work with other groups, our developing policies and procedures.

Melynda Jarret, Jeffery Asher, Evelyn Huglo and Claire Jodain's presentations were very informative and well received by the participants.

Tentatively, within a few weeks, those interested in working with NSPA-Quebec will be invited to an initial organizing meeting to begin work on obtaining provincial non-profit status, and to organize regular meetings in Montreal. Those working with the organizers in Montreal will be seeking to network within Montreal with professionals, individuals and others who can bring the issues into a solution focused perspective.

Gilbert Claes was in attendance from Quebec City and once Montreal is more fully organized, the Quebec chapter will begin outreach test the viability of a local chapter or affiliation in Quebec City.

On a personal note, it was a privilege and a pleasure to have been involved in a small way to help organize this event. I met a lot of very interesting people involved in these issues in the Montreal area. As I have seen in many parts of North America, there are many dedicated fathers struggling towards similar ends, and they are supported by many others of similar courage.

Interestingly, many, many phone calls came in from mothers in Montreal who were very, very supportive of what we are seeking to achieve: The building of a national dialogue focused on making peace during divorce, and how that might be accomplished. In fact, on Saturday morning the audience was made of a large contingent of mothers seeking to heal their children and themselves from the trauma of divorce. Though are politics might have been different, these courageous women were willing to listen and admit that divorce is tough on all of us, but that it is especially difficult on our children.

This is a positive step forward - By creating a climate where everyone is heard, acknowledged and validated we, the adults can get past blaming each other; We can get to the work of healing ourselves quickly; We can be sure that continuing developmental needs of our children are not consumed by the fallout and grief that comes with divorce.

Our focus must be towards becoming informed consumers when it comes to divorce. We must learn how to make wise relationship choices and when we make poor choices, how to go about making better ones in either saving a failed marriage, or alternately ending the marriage with love, not hate. We must be an example that educates future generations so that they will have the benefit of our experiences with divorce, should they have the misfortune of having to face it within their families.

A seed that was planted in Montreal took root this weekend as like-minded individuals found each other. That is not to say there will not be the usual struggles with local politics between NSPA Quebec and other local groups, something that goes along with working in major metropolitan areas. However, I feel very confident that the Quebec chapter has some very capable people who will find those who wish to work within the context of waging peace and "Families mending Fences.."

I'd like to thank the Montreal organizers for their tireless work. Job well done! I'd also like to thank all those who participated last weekend. Heidi and I enjoyed meeting with all of you, hearing how things are in Quebec, what your struggles are, how you are coping, what your solutions are.

We look forward to working with you to establish this concept in the mind of the Quebec population (which is an extension on my work within the concepts of visualization and calendering systems as tools to easily access information within parenting and co-parenting plans. The following is from my work in updating The Parenting Diary - Mediation Strategies into such a divorce management system. The Parenting Diary - Mediation Strategies is still awaiting editing before being ready for release, along with an edition on written parenting/co-parenting plans and an edition on templates for parenting letters):

"If you are unwilling to have a divorce management plan in place that addresses all the issues involved in the divorce, and that places the children first and foremost, then you are more likely to either be unintentionally or intentionally (once you understand what a divorce management plan is, how it works, why you need one, what is at stake for your children) guilty of child abuse.

" Child abuse in this form is often either emotional, social, psychological or spiritual, impacting on the moral and ethical development of children. Such children often make poor choices which impact on their future well-being and happiness. It is the neglect of duty and abject refutation of true parental responsibility which brings it about."

" This often translates into indirect physical child abuse (i.e. Your child ends up self-mutilating, on drugs, an emotional cripple, living on the streets, running with gangs, participating in either anti-social, abnormal or criminal activity)."

" Such children in divorced families have fallen through the cracks of their parents arguments about the divorce and who is at fault. These children very often fail to seize the fullest expression of their potential within society as adults (i.e. a durable marriage should they so choose, a loving home environment for children to flourish within, a satisfying job, and the financial means to live a comfortable and rewarding life)."

"This comes about because these kids fail to learn a problem solving skill set that is helpful. Why? Their parents have taught and re-inforced other unhelpful skills: Yelling, manipulation, indirect communication, dishonesty, subjectivity as opposed to objectivity."

"The formation of helpful problem solving skills relies upon the foundation of the development of further analytical skills necessary to form a helpful emotional perspective, objectivity which are essential to forming good judgment. Without the first set of skills, the second set of skills cannot come about. Hence, for these kids, life becomes very muddy and cloudy. Efforts at self-gratification and fulfillment are unfocused - blame often becomes an easier explanation and responsibility becomes harder to accept. Hence a primarily unhappy person results whose modus operandi is irresponsible choices and blame when life works out poorly."

Two more NSPA conferences are tentatively planned for this fall. Hopefully I will have something to present on these concepts that will be a little easier to digest. The conferences are to be in Regina in late September and Calgary in November, details to follow as they become available.

Danny Guspie Executive Director - NSPA

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are holding our first conference in Quebec on April 25 and 26, 1998,
10am-4pm at the Queen Elizabeth Health Complex, 2100 Marlowe NDG
(Montreal), Quebec. The cost of attending is free.
The conference will focus on:
*	Acting in the best interests of your children
*	The benefits of shared parenting
*	Medical, Mental Health and Family Life Education concepts
*	Cutting edge research findings
*	Special needs children
*	Parental alienation syndrome
*	How to deal with false allegations
*	Adult children of divorce
*	Current and pending legislation
*	Common law and marital breakdown
The Association is establishing a "NATIONAL ROUND TABLE" focused on a
National Divorce Prevention Strategy and a National Divorce Education
Program. Working committees exist in Regina, Saskatoon, Toronto/Golden
Horseshoe (encompassing from Durham Region/Oshawa to Niagara Falls),
Halifax, Fredericton (Maritimes Outreach with contacts in Newfoundland and
Prince Edward Island). Committees are beginning the process of formation in
Calgary, Edmonton,Vancouver, Victoria. Initial outreach projects are slated
for Winnipeg, Labrador City, Whitehorse, Yellowknife.
Danny Guspie, Executive Director of the NSPA states: "It is time to solve
these difficult questions in a non-partisan way. We encourage all those
interested in sharing solutions to join with us in a national dialogue to
heal Canada's Children of Divorce."
Randy Liberet founder of The National Shared Parenting Association adds:
"This is one of the most important undertakings our country will establish
in our lifetime. The contribution of every family member will make it
possible for children to make a safer transition during divorce.There is
nothing more important than meeting children's needs  during this sensitive
time."
___________________________________________________________________________
REVISED - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - April 21st, 1998
For information contact:	Event Co-ordinatoors:
DANNY GUSPIE - TORONTO: 	WALTER PERRY - MONTREAL
(888) 543-2339 ext. 2 		(English information) (514) 483-0740
(416)-861-0626 ext. 2 		(French information) (514) 486-3923
doppler@total.net		mialbert@total.net
	     **********************************************
		   SENATOR ANN COOLS - KEYNOTE SPEAKER
		     SUNDAY APRIL 26 1:45-3:45 PM
	     **********************************************
The National Shared Parenting Association, is pleased to announce that
Senator Anne Cools will be addressing those attending the inaugural meeting
of NSPA-Quebec.
Senator Cools currently sits on the Special House-Senate Committee on Child
Custody and Access. It has been holding hearings across Canada on
amendments to the Divorce Act focused on promoting a child 	centered
approach to shared parenting upon divorce.
The conference will be held on April 25 and 26, 1998 from 10am-4pm  at The
Queen Elizabeth Health Complex, 2100 Marlowe NDG (Montreal). The cost is
attending is free.There will be child care provided and French translation.
The agenda is as follows:
Saturday April 25th
10:00 AM	NSPA Executive opening remarks
10:30 AM	Adult Children of Divorce - Danny Guspie and Heidi Nabert
11:00 AM	Dr. E. Huglo - Parental Alienation Syndrome
11:30 AM	Professor Jeffery Asher - Divorced Fathers and Sons: Life
                Expectancy and Suicides
12:00 PM	Lunch
1:00  PM	Danny Guspie- Resources leading to shared parenting: The
                Parenting Diary and parenting letters.
2:00   PM	Catherine Rahal - Financial self-defence and the divorce
                industry
2:30   PM	Rosemary Reilly - President CFLE: The role of Family Life
                Educators in cases of Family Breakdown.
3:00   PM	Nancy Shaw: Special Needs Children & Canadian Family
                Culture
3:30   PM	NSPA Executive closing remarks
Sunday April 26th
10:00 AM	NSPA Executive opening remarks Q & A session
10:30 AM	Danny Guspie, Sean Cummings, Randy Liberet, Melynda Jarrat -
		Reports from the NSPA chapters
11:00 AM	Claire Jodain - False Allegations
11:30 AM	Melynda Jarrat and Dan Weston - RCMP policies on
                Abduction, report on Justice Athey of New Brunswick
12:00 PM	Lunch and Social gathering in the hall at 1:00 pm
1:45   PM	Senator Ann Cools - Keynote Speaker
3:45   PM	NSPA Executive closing remarks and comments
"It is time to solve these difficult questions in a non-partisan way
through divorce management and education. We encourage all those interested
in sharing solutions to join with us in a national dialogue to heal
Canada's Children of Divorce." -Danny Guspie - Executive Director/NSPA

 

___________________________________________________________________________
April 19th, 1997
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
For information contact Danny Guspie
(Toronto)             416-861-0626 ext. 2
(North American Toll Free)         1-888-543-2339
doppler@total.net
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
& BACKGROUND MATERIALS
"FAMILIES MENDING FENCES..."
The following document should answer most general questions about the
inaugural conference in May 1997 which took place in Toronto and the
	subsequent follow up conferences which will take place across
Canada.
*********************************************************************
1) How did the National Shared Parenting Association come about?
*********************************************************************
Randy Liberet, a newly separated father from Regina belonging to Weekend
Dads tired of the label "Weekend Dad". He decided that creating a National
Shared Parenting Association might better explain to others what many
	children of divorce, separated and divorced parents and their
extended families face during separation and divorce.
After convincing colleagues in Regina and Saskatoon of the merits of this
idea, a decision was reached to re-name their respective chapters of
Weekend Dads The Regina chapter of the National Shared Parenting
Association and Saskatoon chapter of the National Shared Parenting
Association.
Subsequently, e-mail was sent to various groups, individuals and
professional resources across Canada expressing a desire to create a
national networking forum in which to discuss and network
*********************************************************************
2) How did the idea of National Shared Parenting Association grow?
*********************************************************************
In Toronto, Danny Guspie, Executive Director of Fathers' Resources
International saw the merit of the idea and after some initial exchanges of
e-mail, several phone calls transpired between Randy Liberet and Danny
Guspie.
As a result, Fathers Resources International's pilot project, Toronto
Fathers' Resources joined the association as a founding member. Fathers'
Resources International became a financial sponsor of the project. Danny,
in his role as Executive Director of this organization, shared the ideas
and concepts being explored with his colleagues.
As a result, Fatherhood...Imagine That!, a support group in Halifax, Nova
Scotia headed by Sean Cummings and C.A.R.E located in Fredericton, New
brunswick headed up by Melynda Jarrat and Dan Weston came on board as
founding groups of the National Shared Parenting Association. These groups
now work as NSPA - Nova scotia and NSPA - New Brunswick.
A working committee was struck in Toronto of interested groups and
individuals from the Ontario Wisdom Council to stage an inaugural three day
conference in May 1997. The Ontario Wisdom Council - Golden Horseshoe
Chapter includes groups from around Lake Ontario with the eastern border
being Durham region/Oshawa with the western boundary being Niagara Falls.
The northern boundary includes groups from London, Waterloo and Kitchener.
The Ontario Wisdom Council - Golden Horseshoe Chapter formed a committee
which is chaired by Danny Guspie to assist Randy Liberet and the founding
groups in the creation of the National Shared Parenting Association.
*********************************************************************
3) How are is involvement being sought across Canada?
*********************************************************************
A national Outreach Project has begun to establish links with groups,
interested individuals and professionals across Canada. For example, a
meeting between Danny Guspie and Sean Cummings of Fatherhood Imagine That!
took place in Halifax. Sean agreed to work with groups in the Maritimes
wishing to join the association (Maritimes Outreach contacts established in
New Brunswick,
Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island). In March 1998, Rick Johnston took
over from Sean in Nova Scotia.Rick and Melynda Jarrat are working on the
Maritimes outreach project. Sean is who has moved to Calgary is organizing
the Alberta chapter of the NSPA. Additionally, Sean is working with Randy
Liberet to establish NSPA - British Columbia.
Danny is headed up further outreach projects, which included Quebec which
now has a Walter Perry heading up efforts to establish NSPA- Quebec with
the inaugural conference to be held in Montreal April 25th and 26th, 1998.
Further outreaches are planned for Labrador (Labrador City), Yukon
(Whitehorse),  North West Territories (Yellowknife), and Manitoba
(Winnipeg).
*********************************************************************
4) Where do things stand?
*********************************************************************
Here is where things stand as April 20th, 1998:
The plan is to have a series of regional conferences every 3-4 months, to
organize the association at the provincial level. We've begun and shall
continue to extend invitations to all interested parties for this and
subsequent conferences. We are organizing at the Provincial level currently
having completed our federal non-profit incorporation. Similar
incorporation's are in process in Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova
Scotia and Saskatchewan.
We've held a conference in Toronto and Halifax, and one in Montreal is
slated for April 25th-26th, 1998. Two more conferences are planned for 1998
one in Regina and the other in Calgary for September and November of 1998.
in 1999 we shall be going to Toronto, Fredericton and Victoria/Vancouver.
A web site is in development which will be hosted by Fathers' Resources
International beginning in the summer of 1998 at www.father.org./NSPA For
information on adding information to our web site, contact:
doppler@total.net We have a leadership discussion list which is by
invitation only. NSPA-L a public discussion list will be operational in the
summer of 1998.
*********************************************************************
5) Who may participate in the NSPA? Who is it open to?
*********************************************************************
To anyone who is interested in exploring shared parenting solutions. This
will include father & mother groups, grandparent groups, 2nd wives, other
family members, those seeking alternatives into this networking
forum/organization.
The goal is to create, develop and establish the vision and leadership
necessary to bring national divorce education as the best national solution
to the social problems divorce has begat.
There is no reason in today's information age that any child should suffer
during divorce. There is an abundance of helpful information, skills,
strategies and solutions that need support from all concerned individuals,
families, professionals and communities within our nation.
All that is needed is a national network to promote such solutions and
thinking that lead to national self and formal education about the
importance of promoting peace within our families.
Those who seek such healing are welcome to join with us.
*********************************************************************
6) What is the agenda of the inaugural meeting of NSPA-Quebec in
Montreal? Who are the speakers?
*********************************************************************
Saturday April 25th
10:00 AM	NSPA Executive opening remarks
10:30 AM	Adult Children of Divorce - Danny Guspie and Heidi Nabert
11:00 AM	Dr. E. Huglo - Parental Alienation Syndrome
11:30 AM	Professor Jeffery Asher - Divorced Fathers and Sons: Life
                Expectancy and Suicides
12:00 PM	Lunch
1:00  PM	Danny Guspie- Resources leading to shared parenting: The
                Parenting Diary and parenting letters.
2:00   PM	Catherine Rahal - Financial self-defence and the divorce
                industry
2:30   PM	Rosemary Reilly - President CFLE: The role of Family Life
                Educators in cases of Family Breakdown.
3:00   PM	Nancy Shaw: Special Needs Children & Canadian Family
                Culture
3:30   PM	NSPA Executive closing remarks
Sunday April 26th
10:00 AM	NSPA Executive opening remarks Q & A session
10:30 AM	Danny Guspie - Reports from NSPA chapters
11:00 AM	Claire Jodain - False Allegations
11:30 AM	Melynda Jarrat and Dan Weston - RCMP policies on
                Abduction, report on Justice Athey of New Brunswick
12:00 PM	Lunch and Social gathering in the hall at 1:00 pm
1:45   PM	Senator Ann Cools - Keynote Speaker
3:45   PM	NSPA Executive closing remarks and comments
*********************************************************************
7) How has the media responded so far?
*********************************************************************
We have had articles in Macleans, the Globe and Mail, television coverage
on CBC, CBC Newsworld, CTV, Global TV, MacLeans TV and local media across
Canada, radio coverage on approximately 25 local stations across Canada as
well as the CBC Radio network. Divorce Magazine has agreed to promote our
conferences and secure promotional opportunities and sponsorship's as
possible.
*********************************************************************
8) Is there a national board of directors with regional input?
*********************************************************************
Yes. It is comprised of the founding members of the NSPA who come from
across Canada.
*********************************************************************
9) Are there any costs associated with becoming involved with the
NSPA?
*********************************************************************
Currently there are no costs to attend the initial provincial conferences.
Donations are always welcome. The provincial chapters in consultation with
the National organization are seeking charitable status in order to
continue providing the resources required to fund the growth of the project.
*********************************************************************
10) Isn't the NSPA just another fathers' rights organization?
*********************************************************************
The NSPA began as a fathering group project designed to do outreach to men,
women, children, professionals, organizations.Our philosophy is that we
must focus on healing children rather than blaming each other during
divorce. as an example of inclusiveness, at the Halifax conference had
Patricia Doyle-Bedwell as a guest speaker. She is the Provincial
Chairperson for the National Action Council Status of Women - Nova Scotia
chapter. For the Montreal conference in April, we have had many calls from
women, grandmothers, second wives, sisters of fathers, single parents who
want to know how they can make it better for kids during divorce. Many
woman professionals are presenting in Montreal. In fact, the President of
the NSPA is a woman - Ms. Heidi Nabert.
*********************************************************************
11) When and where is the Montreal conference?
*********************************************************************
The conference is to be held at the Queen Elizabeth Health Complex, 2100
Marlowe (NDG) Montreal on Saturday April 25 and Sunday April 26th, 1998
from 10am-4pm.
*********************************************************************
12) What is the focus of the Montreal conference?
*********************************************************************
The conference will focus on:
*	Acting in the best interests of your children
*	The benefits of shared parenting
*	Medical, Mental Health and Family Life Education concepts
*	Cutting edge research findings
*	Special needs children
*	Parental alienation syndrome
*	How to deal with false allegations
*	Adult children of divorce
*	Current and pending legislation
*	Common law and marital breakdown
The Association is establishing a "NATIONAL ROUND TABLE" focused on a
National Divorce Prevention Strategy and a National Divorce Education
Program. Danny Guspie, Executive Director of the NSPA states: "It is time
to solve these difficult questions in a non-partisan way. We encourage all
those interested in sharing solutions to join with us in a national
dialogue to heal Canada's Children of Divorce."
Randy Liberet founder of The National Shared Parenting Association adds:
"This is one of the most important undertakings our country will establish
in our lifetime. The contribution of every family member will make it
possible for children to make a safer transition during divorce.There is
nothing more important than meeting children's needs  during this sensitive
time."
Thanks for your support and your help!

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