New virus report: "Ryan Erik Hoff"
 
 Entry...............: "Ryan Erik Hoff"
 Alias...............: Dave, "El Gargantuo"
 Strain..............: Furneaux/Meeter/Slade/Hoff
 Detected when.......: 921227 2058H
          where......: Royal Columbian Hospital, New Westminster, BC, Canada   
                          (there are indications that it originated in         
                          neighbouring Port Moody  :-)
 Clssification.......: Although others in strain have been viral, this may be a 
                          "dropper"
 Length of virus.....: 6.25 3 1/2" disk widths
 ------------------------Preconditions---------------------------------
 Operating System(s).: All current and future, hopefully  :-)
 Version\Release.....: as above
 Computer models.....: as above, and his other grandfather and I are agreed    
                          that he should also be able to sail by the age of two
 -------------------------Attributes-----------------------------------
 Easy identification.: his father's head shape, and his mother's furrowed brow
 Infection Trigger...: Well, see, when you grow up, you start to feel ...
 Media affected......: I haven't been online at all for four days
 Interrupts hooked...: Everything on Saturday night and Sunday
 Damage..............: The integrity shell of the carrier program had to be    
                          broken during disinfection.  There were initial      
                          indications of serious damage, but the carrier       
                          program has proven capable of self-repair.
 Damage trigger......: Reverse placement
 Particularities.....: Extraordinary size (4345 gm)
 Similarities........: Red, sleeps and cries a lot
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Countermeasures.....: None yet attempted.  Likely never will  :-)
 -----------------------Acknowledgements-------------------------------
 Location............: V.I.R.U.S., Vancouver, BC, Canada
 Classification by...: all grandparents
 Documentation by....: Grandpa
 Date................: 921230
 
==============
Vancouver      ROBERTS@decus.ca         | "A ship in a harbour
Institute for  Robert_Slade@sfu.ca      |  is safe, but that is
Research into  rslade@cue.bc.ca         |  not what ships are
User           p1@CyberStore.ca         |  built for."
Security       Canada V7K 2G6           |           John Parks