The Chronicles Of Necromancer TeraFNORD



Earth Date: Oct 28, 1992
Universal Namron Time: 23,342,234,233.876513
©Copyright TeraFNORD 1992. All Fights Deserved


TeraFNORD 1,1 - Regarding Toothpaste
Many chronicles of toothpaste have been laid out in the past history. The great question of life as we know it is quot;How do they get toothpaste in the tube?". If one thinks about it, it is almost impossible. For a toothpaste tube is like the lif e of many.
It has been documented by Floyd Gecko as follows:
The beginning to toothpaste-tubing goes back to the ancient Tuba-Tubers of Tibet, a cult devoted to putting Tubas in Tubes. Their spiritual doctrines, while shallow-minded and narrow-focused, at least explained their purpose in the universe. Essentially they believed in something similar to the Egyptian system of your soul being weighed against your sins on abalance. In their cosmology, your soul was weighed against the number of Tubas you had stuffed into tubes in your life. If it weighed more, you were summarily tossed into Hell. Current progress in Tubing, of course, goes far beyond their system of merely making tubes big enough to put the instruments into. Now we use a complex system of micro-thin transport tubes and magical fairy-dus t, which helps conjure a wormhole-oriented toothpaste transport system.
It has also been narrowed down as follows:
"The mystery of toothpaste tubing deeply interconnects aspects of life from many different cultures"

TeraFNORD 1,2 - Power of Rubber Chickens
Rubber or plasticated chickens may not be used for violent acts. Bashing one with a chicken can only lead to discord, the fundamental powerhouse of life. Chickens like these should be treated with respect. The great puck of luck does not allow a person to bash another with a rubber chicken.
It has also been narrowed down as follows:
"The rubber chicken is but one of power and discord"

TeraFNORD 1,3 - The Flamingo Followers
One can argue that a flamingo is a flamingo. A flamingo is but one of the greatest animals of the kingdoms. The main reason is that it is pink. Pigs are pink, but they are not spiritually enlightened. Flamingos are. A flamingo must always be addressed "flamingo". The flamingo is but the greatest and wisest animal. The flamingo is the sacred animal of Flaut, and lower MOO.
It has also been narrowed down as follows:
"A flamingo is the centre of life, love, and the universe"

TeraFNORD 1,5 - Rubber Chicken Senate Reform

MYTH


Shoes are for industry
WRONG!
Shoes are not for industry, shoes are industry.

This has been narrowed down as follows:
"Rubber Chickens For Senate!"

TeraFNORD 1,7 - Shoes For Industry
It has been found that shoes for industry can cause a great problem for our economic sectors. When burnt, the chemicals released from shoes could kill a worker nearby, pollute the environment, or simply smell really bad. This industrial proposal by many MOOists is not good for the planet as a whole. For this reason I council MOO upon taking the Shoes For Industry slogan out of use. Of course, it can still be used.
This can be narrowed down to:
"The only good shoes are the shoes on your feet. Even though they smell, they don't pollute"

TeraFNORD 1,8 - Light Bulb Blues
It has been rumoured by traditional physics that light bulbs blow due to natural events. Some people say that they "wear out". Should a lot of bulbs blow in a short period of time, then a severe namron stability problem has occurred. Quite oft en this can show a disaster as to be coming such as an earthquake.
This can be narrowed down to:
"The natural event of a light bulb breaking is not as natural as you may think."

TeraFNORD 1,11 - The Ability To Be Wrong
Thee who is wrong chooses but to be by his own free will. One must remember that 'wrongness' is a state of mind, and what might seem wrong to another person is exactly and totally correct for the person committing the wrongness.
This can be narrowed down to:
"It is impossible to be wrong"

TeraFNORD 1,12 - Stupid Little Big Man
On a yester-year a small MOOist by the holy name of Little Bug Man said the following: "No, nobody can make me feel stupid. Go on I DARE you to try!". The Necromancer took the dare (as any other good Necromancer would), and entered this entry in the book. All who read this should believe that any that dare something as stupid as to dare someone to prove that they are stupid must indeed be stupid.
This can be narrowed down to:
"Little Bug Man is Stupid"

TeraFNORD 1,13 - Spy Satellites The majority of satellites are hidden in sensible places such as under mountains, underwater, in the middle of cities, in bomb shelters, etc. The stupid scientists put satellites in space, too far away to spy on anything. Those scientists must ha ve been pretty stupid. To spy on someone,you doughnut fly in the opposite direction, thousands of miles from the earth.
This has been narrowed down to:
"Putting a satellite into geo-synchronous orbit is useless"