The Cheese-Spectrum

As Related to Pfloide L Gehqo by Tweedledum

The following fragment was explained to me by Tweedledum, the Goddess of Cheese. Her role in MOOism is somewhat complex. When a MOOist needs to know the best kind of cheese to serve with what kind of food, or where cheese is currently on sale, or just how CHEESY a really bad movie actually IS, that MOOist turns to the Goddess of Cheese.
Since genuinely stupid movies are a staple of MOOist entertainment, she has devised a scale on which to rate their respective cheesiness. That which is cheesy, but GOOD, is rated Gouda. As its quality and entertainment value degrades, we move down the scale, as shown below:

Gouda: Forbidden Planet
Blue Cheese: The Day The Earth Stood Still
Cheddar: Evil Dead
Mozzarella: Empire Of The Ants
Process-Cheese Slices: Plan 9 From Outer Space
Cheez-Whiz: Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend (parts 1 through 87)
Squeez-Cheez: Killers From Space
Spray-Cheez: Rambo
Glow-In-The-Dark Cheez: Texas Chainsaw Massacre







Speaking of cheez-whiz, this was the form in which thee Grate MOO feasted upon Snackies during the Dark Years. Certain jars of cheez-whiz actually contain orange protoplasmic psychic-vampire lifeforms, which are avatars of thee Grate MOO, trained in martial arts and prophetic technique. One such lifeform, recently consulted on a matter of prophecy, made the startling revelation that the Carrot Deck, contrary to the bald-faced assertions in MOO-COW Gamma One, CAN be used to tell the future, and by a startlingly simple method.
After dealing out the cards as shown in MOO-COW, simply read the following sentence: "There are twenty-three chicken chimichangas on Mars, but only Mustapha Mond can manage the mystical monad of life." Then, interpret this sentence in a manner appropriate to the question and the reading, ensuring that this interpretation matches the ACTUAL future, and PRESTO! Instant Prophecy!