You are now reading the Fine Print: fine print is the inherent right of any contract-producing species, and an inevitable result of information transfer in a disinformation matrix. Fine print is protected throughout this universe and twenty-two others by Degol, God of Fine Print: it may not be infringed by any person, entity, intelligence, or quasi-existent modality of being without incurring the wrath of said Degol. The conditions of this Book, associated Licences, Agreements, and Incitements to Riot affiliated with it, are as follows (the following conditions have been cleared by the International MOOist Conspiracy and are, with some modification, those listed in the Fine Print of the Official MOOist Preaching Licence (copyright 1994, by the International MOOist Conspiracy (which categorically denies its own existence)) as is the majority of this Fine Print (with the exception of certain sections which have been modified to make the readability or applicability of this fine print clearer (or less clear, as the case may (or may not) be)): (1) the reader, bearer, or procurer of information and Absolute Freedoms presented here may not use them to excuse any act or behaviour or other activity which is illegal under any laws whatever, immoral under any standards, or offensive to anyone whatsoever, or indeed annoying in any other way, except where such act, behaviour, or activity is subject to the Inalienable Right of Prophecy (see below), (2) the reader, bearer or procurer may not use the freedoms or ideas granted or instilled by this Book and its affiliated organizations to incite riot, revolution, subversion, or other deeds, actions, or coups d'etat directed against the legitimate, illigitimate, or quasi-existent government of any nation, country, state, province, realm, county, duchy, or indepentent nonlocalized republic of free citizens, except where such government has violated the Gerber Convention of 1574 (signed into action by the Nicean Council of MOOist Confederates and Associated Quasi-Stellar Demon-Squid from the Beyond-Pleroma of the AboveGod), (3) the bearer of any licence, recipient of any information, or host to any memetic worm-parasites created by the Church of MOO or any affiliated cult, agency, or cultic body, may not present such licence or explain such ideas when questioned, unless the questioning authority is an authorized Pope, ranking MOOist, or epoptic channel of a certified Deity (deity certification may be checked with the official Deity Registry on Omicron Penthar 5), (4) the bearer or recipient must present these credentials or cite these references when so demanded by any authority of the CIA, Elders of Zion, Bavarian Illuminati, or any authoritative conspiracy with rank greater than or equal to Senior Partner in the Orbital Colonial Occupational Government, and (5) the bearer or recipient may not claim assylum with, claim protection from, or receive defense by the Orbital Colonial Occupational Government by claiming connection with same. The Orbital Colonial Occupational Government takes no responsibility for the actions of the bearer or recipient of information or thought viruses or Official Licences issued by any affiliate of Thee Church Ov MOO, and categorically denies any relationship with such churches, cults, or quasi- religious entity. Any statements to the contrary on the part of the bearer or recipient shall be regarded as libel by the Orbital Colonial Occupational Government, and subject to the usual penalties (which may range, dependent on the nature of the claim and severity of the libel charge, and the whims of the lawyers, from a minor fine to eternal damnation in the pits of Yazek). This Church is for external use only and should not be ingested, injected, smoked or inhaled. If contacted with the eyes, flush with water immediately and contact your physician or priest immediately. Do not use while operating heavy machinery, driving motor vehicles, or speaking on matters of philosophical import (the contents of the Book of MOO have been approved for use while speaking on philosophical exports (approval granted Octember 56, 1995 by the Philosophical Society of Sol-3, a non-prophet organization chartered under the Sprönk act of 1307) and general philosophy of tarriffs and trade). This Church, and its associated concepts and inalienable rights contain no preservatives (and consequently are best if used before May 13, 1992), additives, multiplicatives, coloring agents, dyes, radioactive contaminants, artificial flavours, or homing beacons, but may be carcinogenic if applied directly to the liver. If you experience any difficulty operating this religion, please consult the Operator's Manual, or return to your local dealer for servicing. This Church, its affiliated documents, and the ranks available through it, are not user-serviceable: any attempt to service these items yourself will result in termination of warranty. Do not remove this tag under penalty of death. This document is the property of Thee Grate Church Ov Möö, and may not be used except subject to the conditions of this fine print. Trespassers will be prosecuted. God is dead, long live the Goddess. Unauthorized use of MOOist ranks and positions is unlawful under the Gorman Act, Section 12, subsection G, paragraph 6, subparagraph (iii), item delta. Any person found using MOOist ranks or information propagated by the Grate Book of MOO for personal use on company time will be terminated (any person found using such items for company use on personal time will be excommunicated and disjuncted from its soul). Stay safe, buckle up. Consult your regular physician before engaging in regular use of the information included in this Book or privileges granted by MOOist rank. This Book is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only, and the authors take no responsibility for misuse, abuse, or damages resulting from misuse or abuse of the information contained in this Book. This space for rent: for only $2 per word, you can have your business advertised here, in a somewhat official looking context (fine print and everything!). Users are warned not to expose this Book or its contents to open flame, liberal philosophies, or heavy-metal music (defined to be metallic music with mass greater than two metric tonnes per axle). Failure to comply will result in, respectively, a burning Book (and only Nazis burn books), a radical preacher, and a highly intelligent psychovampiric mobile undead mandarin orange named Louise. This information not for use before 1850 CE or after 2051 CE. No time-travelling personnel will be permitted to use statements contained in this book or privileges granted by ranks and titles accruing to MOOist members as excuses for altering the flow of history, or any major rivers (major rivers defined by the Neo-Linguistic Convention of "1954" to be "Any tree having fewer than five primary branches from the main swizzle-stick", where "tree" is defined to mean "principle of occult doctrine originating in Central Alemania between the years of 1451 and Fish-51", "branch" is defined to mean "any subcultic variation on an occult doctrine which directly contradicts the general understanding of the primary doctrine", and "swizzle-stick" is a synonym for "quackless deep-fried semi-conducting mollusc"). The Church Ov MOO has been declared a violation of the Geneva Convention on human rights, and any person found using MOOist doctrines as a weapon of warfare, or in interrogation of prisoners, may be liable for charges of Crimes against Humanity (or other species, depending on circumstances). The authors of this information are not responsible for such unauthorized use, and disavows, categorically denies, and repudiates all such actions, the existence of time machines, and any actions, murders, or attempted genocides perpetrated by autonomously mobile highly intelligent vampire oranges or any name, personal lifestyle, or religious conviction (the conviction was, in fact, later overturned by a court of appeals on a technicality (namely that the trial had been a mistrial, since the prosecution had used subliminal brainwashing techniques to prevent defense witnesses from being able to say anything other than the names of east Alemanian food products)). Where the words Church Ov MOO are used in this document, TOPY members are requested to substitute the words "Wholly Temple Ov Thee Grated Inephable MOU", CIA agents are requested to substitute the words "Central Intelligence Agency", and Church Of MOO officials are requested to jump up and down on their hands while waving the MOOist Flag (Thee Double Standard - an invisible flag having a Psychick Halfee on one side and a Halfy on the other) with their feet and singinging the Marseilles. No person may read this information or recite this fine print backwards from memory in more than one occasion simultaneously, and this Book is not to be reproduced by any means, either electronic, photostatic, xerological, memetic, or cognitive. All rights reserved, all fights deserved, all rites reversed, and all nights delivered within 30 minutes or your money back. No warranty, express or implied, is made regarding the applicability of this Book or the ideas it contains. Void where prohibited by Law. Check with local deities before preaching opposed faiths. Some conditions may apply. Some assembly may be required. Some cars not for use with some sets. Your parents put it together. The Inalienable Right Of Prophecy© is an unregistered trademark of Thee Wholly And Unjustified Vengeful Temple Of Thee Slightly Moldy Cheese Crouton. It is the intention of Thee Wholly And Unjustified Vengeful Temple Of Thee Slightly Moldy Cheese Crouton to prosecute copyright violations to the fullest extent allowed by the law, the practical matters of our faith, and the size of the stick you threaten us with when we issue the subpoena. If you would like more information about Thee Church Ov MOO than is available in this Book, please consult the authors for further information. If you ARE an author, and still want more information about Thee Church Ov MOO, consult yourself anyway and send us the money. Visa, MasterCard and American Express accepted: operators standing by. Not valid on weekends or statutory holidays. This may not be used with any other offer. Limit one per customer. Patent Pending. No refunds or exchanges are possible. Contact the Church for more information.