The following are excerpts from the Böok Ov Pfflfoiqxde which are generally believed by MOO scholars to have been inserted while the High Preest was under the posession of a form of the Confuse-Ius modality, a sub-resonant pattern which frequently appears in the minds of MOOists during Churching sessions dedicated to the creation of new writings.
Although many WOMBAT Systems Analysts belive that Confuse-Ius is simply a mass hallucination, there is nevertheless a certain consistency in the kind of sheer stupidity which typifies its writings. These examples are presented here for your amusement.
-Confuse-Ius, ed
The following paragraph may be safely skipped with no danger to your sanity. Stop reading now.
The prime emmanation was a conceptual dodecahedron, composed of equal positive and negative energy spirals, as Bucky Fuller discusses. Those positive and negative energy spirals which form the tetrahedral EVENT divide the twenty points into ten positive and ten negative: sephiroth and qliphoth. Each energy spiral is a characteristic phase space transition from one pattern to another. These define the characteristics of each of the points. The expansion of Hadit into Nuit defined the original points, and supplied the breaking of absolute symmetry into relative symmetry. The relative symmetry is broken in any "System" or Universe, which is Malkuth, of either positive or negative energy spirals, since this introduces Time, the interplay of synergy and entropy, which are Hod and Netzah, through Yesod, flux. Each of the opposing energy spiral events when played backwards through time homogenizes into a system as a reverse trend, and not an opposite matrix, as it interacts with time-flow events. This gives the qliphoth and sephiroth different character from a given reference point. Da'ath is the missing double-spiral which accomodates the difference between System and Universe in Fullerian geometry: two event- spirals, it is a tetrahedral unity, separate in itself neither sephiroth nor qliphoth. It thus represents completion, or a TOTAL knowledge of Universe. Tiphereth is information, subject to both Hod and Netzah. It emmanates from Kether, the unrelated item, Chokmah, relation of items, Binah, metarelation of relations, down through the Abyss of Abstraction into Chesed of nth-level abstract relational quality and Geburah of alternate structures. Ain Soph Aur is all possible structures of transfinite size without structure, held within the Ain-Soph, emptiness of zero, underneath Ain, the Unquestioned.
There. Aren't you glad you skipped that section?
You may see vague threatening references to the Chromaticks elsewhere in these books. The Men in Black may follow UFO contactees, and the Men in White may ply their trade on those who learn too much about the secrets of Time Control, but woe be to those who learn too much about the mystickal secrets of MOO. They will be followed, depending on precisely what they learn, by the Men in Mauve, the Women in Orange, and the Asexual Pea-Eating Lifeforms in A Tacky Kind Of Paisley. Do not be fooled by the amusing descriptions. These forces are not to be trifled with.
Angular momentum makes the world go 'round.
This section does not exist. If anyone asks for Confuse-Ius, you haven't seen me.
At this point, you're probably wondering what the connection is between MOOism and the rash of Cattle Mutilations which continue unabated in our land.
Cattle Mutilations, Crop Circles, UFOs, haunted houses... These are all incursions into our time by false time.
Certain histories of our universe are prohibited by the contents of this history: these are called "erased" histories. Because of the boundary conditions of the universal wave form, their probability (Hilbert norm) is reduced to zero. But they are useful as shortcuts to explain certain "supernatural" correction terms which temporarily short-circuit the laws of physics in our world in order to meet the boundary conditions of the waveform.
Remember: these histories don't REALLY exist, but are just a shortcut for explaining the temporarly lapses of our real world. The temporary schizophrenic lapses of physics in our world manifest as the breaking-in of entities and laws of physics from these false histories. For their inscrutable purposes and by their incomprehensible logic, the false-entities make impossible or illogical changes in our world, then leave.
Impressions they leave are in the form of spontaneous bizarre mutilations, lights in the sky, dwarvish humanoids, ghosts, mysterious voices, bent and deformed plant life, mysterious teleportations, spoon bendings, and other "psychic" phenomena. After the temporary lapse of reality, our universe inevitably tries to adjust to accomodate these changes by retroactively turning them into "hoaxes", "hallucinations" or "weather balloons". It is this effect of microscopic adjustment (the Gibbs Effect) which is the purpose of these discontinuities, and it allows our universe to draw closer to its intended conclusion at Timewave Zero.
This section did not exist. I am not Confuse-Ius.
If you can't see the fnord, it can't eat you.
fNORD