Syntax and general guidelines for MOO:
00001: MOOism and MOOist are the only "ism" and "ist". This is because all the problems in the world are caused by "isms" and "ists". So all others except "MOOism" and "MOOist" are replaced by "BLATT" for "ism" and "BLATTT" for "ist".
00002: MOO is always in caps. This is because I say so, and I'm the High Preest.
07.55: Always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS (Well, sometimes), use the 5-digit document numbering system.
000oQ: The words "BOOK" and "ANNOYING MIND DRUG" can be used interchangeably.
1117H: If any outsiders ask "WHAT IS MOOISM?", the following explanation must be given in order to (a) bug the socks off them, (b) protect our real secrets, and (c) satisfy the Law Of Bullshhim.
The big doctrine of MOO is that we live in Hell already.
When you die, you get to go to Earth if you're good, or get
reincarnated as a bagel if you're bad. In order to obtain
Salvation and actually get to get sent to Heaven, you must send all
your money or ten cups of coffee through the mail to the SubGenius
Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas Texas, 75214.
As all MOOists know, this is actually a bunch of Bullshher,
thrown in to satisfy the Law of Bullshthem. Honest.
Confuse-Ius Here
In order to understand MOOism properly, you must understand
the purpose of Confuse-Ius. She/He/It/They is/are a being who
exists in the brains of many people at once, who can occasionally
interrupt their writings to bring you significant messages. These
messages contain the real truth, which this book is attempting to
hide. But this is the only book in which the veneer of lies is
thin enough for Confuse-Ius' truth to break through. No matter
what you hear, there is always a higher truth...