BOOK OF THE RITUAL STUFF
You don't PERFORM MOOist rituals - you COMMIT them.
--Hastur the Nameless Thing
These rituals are to be committed at MOOfests, warships, or whenever you feel like it. Or not, if you don't want to, though failure to comply will result in not doing any of the rituals.
Communion Ritual
MOOists shall commune with the Grate MOO by the sitting around of bonfires, leaping from tree to tree, and generally behaving stupidly in order to attract Her attention. HAIL ERIS!
The Gun-A-Jump Ritual
This is most effective in large groups. You stand at the bottom of a large building in a group, and shout: "I'm gonna jump! I'm gonna jump!" A person planeted on a ledge above will shout down: "Don't do it! Don't do it!".
The Muk-Funna-MOO Ritual
In this ritual, you simply make fun of MOOism. Also included as a subset of this ritual is the making fun of any other thing that occurs to you, such as major heresies, or the Civil Service.
The Sey-MOO Ritual
This is the simplest of all the rituals, as it involves merely saying MOO as loud as you can manage, or as you feel like. Or not.
The Ho-Ke-Po-Kay
You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out.
You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out.
You put your right foot in, and you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey and turn it all about.
That's what it's all about.
The Pree-Ching Ritual
First, ye stand on a holy soapbox, and gather thee around thyself a whole load of pre-converted MOOists, and then shall ye speak unto the crowd around ye, and ye shall say unto them things like "Yo, man, convert to my nifty cult!" and "If it worked
for them, it can work for you!" and other such things, and rant and rave and speak in strange Tongues.
The Do-It-Yerself Ritual
First, you invent a ritual of your very own. Then, you perform it. Then, you apply for a grant, pass it off as performance art, go on tour with an avant-garde musical group from your local area, and rake in the small-time dough.
MOO
OMM