APPENDIX VII
as written by Preest Jeffrey Morton
Many people, when they hear about the Church of MOO, ask me if
we're the Church of MOO who proclaimed the reality of Santa Claus,
the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, or if we're that OTHER
Church of MOO which has all kinds of weird ideas about the future
of human evolution and our personal destinies, or the Church of MOO
that created that glut of incomprehensible semi-propaganda that
swept their city.
I usually have to answer YES.
Sometimes I do what the Book of MOO advises me to do, and
invent an answer on the spot, exercising my creative powers,
producing something completely new and original, then letting go of
it, casting it out into the world. I know that by doing this, I
lose my attachment to my ideas and increase the information content
of the world, making things better all around.
But usually I just say YES.
I tell them that the Easter Bunny is the modern form of an
ancient Goddess religion. The Saxon worship of the Goddess Eostre
(related to Astare and Ishtar, who was a good Goddess and a bad
movie, which was the same person but not the same Opossum) was the
origin of the mysterious Easter customs to do with eggs and
bunnies, which were her symbols. When the mental energy of worship
was withdrawn, and focus was diverted to the eggs and the Eostre
Bunny itself, the same Astral forces which had powered the Goddess
withdrew from her, allowing her to wither, while at the same time
creating a new God, called the Easter Bunny. It sounds strange,
but it's a perfectly legitimate application of the known principles
of Magickal force which produce Gods and Goddesses from the primal
Chaoplasm. The Tooth Fairy comes from similar origins.
Or I tell them that human destiny lies in the unimaginable
future, when our technology allows us to expand our consciousness
to fill the entire universe, and then pass beyond it, accelerating
to higher and yet higher levels, beyond those dreamed of by any
religion. I tell them that to acheive this, the Church recognizes
the need for many different points of view, many options at every
juncture, for just as many options increase our chance of survival,
many wants increase our ability to get what we desire: if nobody
else wants the same thing as you, it's that much easier to get it.
Our species can expand and evolve in all directions at once,
becoming greater, broader, wider in experience and scope just as we
gain stature by deeper and deeper development. Diversity and
curiosity are our watchwords.
And sometimes I just tell them I was a bagel in a past life,
and have a phobic fear of cream cheese, and let them figure it out
for themselves, as we were all meant to do.
Hint hint.