Was Jesus A Discordian?



Well? Was he?

Maybe. Here's a sample quote which proves it:

Do you think that I have come to give peace to the Earth? No, I tell you, but rather division.
For henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three.
-Jesus, quoted in The Bible, Luke 12:51

So what the hell does this prove?

Well, here we see Jesus preaching the cause of schism, the most sacred of Discordian causes. By bringing chaos and disorder rather than peace, Christ was manifesting himself as an avatar of Eris, Goddess of chaos. In fact, Jesus himself alludes to this fact by mentioning not only the sacred Five (a tribute to the Discordian Law Of Fives), but also by dividing the five into two and three, a tip of the hat to the mysterious number 23 which is sacred to Discordians, and a sign of contact with the Dog-People from Sirius.

In fact, it is generally recognized that it is in this section of the Bible that Christ reveals some of the TRUE teachings (namely, these are gnostic teachings which escaped the purges of the third century Catholic powermongers). In Luke 13:18-21, he makes comparisons of the Kingdom of God with mustard and yeast (look it up). In fact, some modern scholars are convinced that this section of the Bible originally contained a recipe for some form of spiced bread which gnostic christians ate as a form of eucharist. Along with the mustard, yeast, and flour mentioned in this section, it is thought that hallucinogenic mushrooms formed a key ingredient in the gnostic eucharist (one reason the Catholic Church condemned the gnostics for heresy). This was what allowed them to contact the Sirian Choir, which gave them their highly unorthodox gnosis, and eventually led to their suppression.

This also fits with the theory that Christ was a Discordian, since chewing certain hallucinogenic mushrooms can often lead to a release of the neurotransmitter DMT, triggering the pineal gland of the brain, which allows Eris to pass information (or "Logos") into the brain of the gnostic. Hidden in Luke, chapters 11-14 are several secret Discordian teachings, and the serious student is advised to study them in connection with The Principia Discordia and Thee Grate Book Ov MOO.



Thank you for being brainwashed by Xelax Nebroxil's Confederation For Religious Strife, Discord, and Confusion