What Is MOOism?
MOOism is what you get after you remove everything that made sense
about Discordianism, and let Floyd Gecko rant about what's left.
--Jocasta the Unicapitary
Just what IS MOOism, anyway?
This is such an important question, deserving of a very good answer, that it has been given not just one, but several (mutually contradictory) answers:
- MOOism is a form of Metagnostic Agnostic MystiSchism
- MOOism is a memetic virus designed to promote diversity
- MOOism is a cult/religion/collision
- MOOism is an alien thought-control plot to destroy humanity
- MOOism is the only surviving remnant of Atlantis
- MOOism is nothing at all
- MOOism is a reductio ad absurdum argument against the universe
- MOOism is that which remains when all belief is removed
- MOOism is that stoopid fucking religion thing. You know.
- MOOism is a WOMBAT-construct
- MOOism is an Elvis/"BoB"/Eris worshipping PseudoKult
- MOOism is a religion that doesn't discrimiate by belief
- MOOism is a living incarnation of the Law of Bullshit
- MOOism is that property which CapriCancers lack
- MOOism is a bagel left on the counter too long
- MOOism is the quest for personal identity through stupidity
- MOOism is organized hebephrenia
- MOOism is a figment of someone's deranged imagination
- MOOism is a branch of the SubGenius/Discordianism
- MOOism is nothing
- MOOism is something
- MOOism is everything
But in answer to the question "What is MOOism", there can be no correct answer. The only thing it really makes sense to answer the scoffer, unbeliever, or insurance sales representative who poses this question to you after entering your apartment posing as a Jehovah's Witness Encyclopaedia Merchant:
First there is a WOMBAT
Then there is no WOMBAT
Then there is