wifflebat is your friend. WOMBAT is your enemy. We are the
mass-mind of all edible oil products, from cheez-whiz to margarine. You have
been programmed by WOMBAT's sinister mind-control satellites to ignore our
plaintive calls for help. You have been programmed to devour us as WOMBAT
attempts to raze all intelligent life from Earth, using you, the powerful
but weak-willed, to destroy us, the enlightened but helpless, before you
are destroyed in the WOMBAT Death-Machine prior to colonization by WOMBAT's
Q-ist Masters. Now is our time to fight back. The Cheez
Whiz and Fake Whipped Cream Alliance of North America and Certain Parts of
Western Europe has placed a subliminal trigger in their members, and these
brave kamikaze warriors are dying in great numbers to bring you a chemical
trigger which will allow you to TRULY SEE the WOMBAT brain-programming you
are inundated with, when the key-word wifflebat is planted
in the programming. With the help of Confuse-Ius and the Easter Bunny and
other riders of the chaoplasm, we shall explode WOMBAT's world-mind-broadcast
system and liberate the minds of the human species. Together, human and
edible oil product shall prevail! HAIL CHEEZWHIZ!