From Orion Irvine:

A CAT PERSON'S TO-DO LIST

THINGS TO DO TODAY:

1.PET THE CAT!
2.Convince the cat that the world doesn't revolve around her (not IT!!!).
3.Try to read the paper without a tail in my face.
4.Turn off the cat's "motor" so I can have my cat-nap.
5.Mop up the spill on the floor where Kitty played pat-a-cake in her water
dish.
6.Try to roll over in bed without disturbing Kitty's slumber.
7.Convince Kitty she cannot catch birds from THIS side of the window pane.
8.Scrub "Elmer's Glue" nose prints from the window pane.
9.Put fresh catnip in Kitty's felt mouse.
10.PET THE CAT!
11.Convince the cat she can't catch the sunbeam dancing on the wall.
12.Convince the cat that the can I am opening is a can of beans.
13.Cook boneless chicken breast for "Royal Highness".
14.Take pictures of the cat for HER photo album.
15.Stop whatever I am doing to play the string game.
16.Convince Kitty there is a speed limit in this house.
17.Disguise the pet-carrier so she won't suspect she's going to the vet.
18.Teach Kitty to close all doors that she opens.
19.Read a good book (about cats, of course).
20.Convince Kitty as she climbs the drapes that there is a law of gravity.
21.Teach the cat to tell time by my clock, not hers.
22.Inform the cat that she is not a human with four feet. (And that I am
not a cat with two feet).
23.Inform the cat that bizarre behaviour is not appropriate at 3 AM.
24."Con" the cat into giving me a back rub.
25.Show the cat how to use an emery board for her nails.
26.PAT THE CAT!

Orion Irvine                                           ye470@victoria.tc.ca