The openly heterosexual former football player, OJ Simpson, was
   arrested today and charged with the murder of his former sex partner
   and her companion. The arrest sent shockwaves throughout the
   heterosexual community, as one of its' most popular icons revived old
   stereotypes that surround the heterosexual lifestyle.
   
   "Wife-beating is not equivalent to being heterosexual," said Joe
   Eightpack, a spokesperson for the Straight Alliance Against Defamation
   (SAAD). "While it is true that some heterosexuals engage in the abuse
   of their partners, it is still no more common among straights (as they
   like to be called) than among gays and lesbians."
   
   But opponents of heterosexual rights seized on the incident. "Every
   year, hundreds of thousands of women are victims of this immoral
   subculture," said the Rev. Donald Gaylord, spokesperson for the
   Citizens Concerned About Heterosexual Behavior (CCAHB). "There appears
   to have been an heterosexual ring in Los Angeles, including the Police
   Force, that covered up this depraved activity for years. I'm
   particularly concerned about saving our children from this kind of
   example."
   
   Statistics suggest a large minority of heterosexual males are involved
   in some kind of domestic violence; one in 4 heterosexual relationships
   involves violence, with 2 million to 4 million women affected each
   year. Researchers who claim that heterosexuality is a choice and not,
   as some believe, involuntary, argue that this makes it even more
   important to not give social sanction to this activity. "It is not
   heterosexuals as such that we're opposed to," argues Gaylord, "It's
   their self-destructive lifestyle"   
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