Feline Physics

   1 -Law of Cat Inertia
   A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by
   some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby
   scurrying mouse.

   2 -     Law of Cat Motion
   A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good
   reason to change direction.

   3 -     Law of Cat Magnetism
   All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
   proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

   4 -     Law of Cat Thermodynamics
   Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a
   cat, all heat flows to the cat.

   5 -     Law of Cat Stretching
   A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the
   nap just taken.

   6 -     Law of Cat Sleeping
   All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
   uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

   7 -     Law of Cat Elongation
   A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any
   countertop, that has anything remotely interesting on it.

   8 -     Law of Cat Acceleration
   A cat will accelerate at a constant speed, until he gets good and
   ready to stop.

   9 -     Law of Dinner Table Attendance
   Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

   10 -    Law of Rug Configuration
   No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.

   11 -    Law of Obedience Resistance
   A cat's resistance varies in inverse proportion to a humans desire
   for her to do something.

   12 -    First Law of Energy Conservation
   Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will
   therefore use as little energy as possible.

   13 -    Second Law of Energy Conservation
   Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping.

   14 -    Law of Refrigerator Observation
   If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come
   along and take out something good to eat.

   15 -    Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
   Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the
   speed of light.

   16 -    Law of Random Comfort Seeking
   A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable
   spot in any given room.

   17 -    Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
   All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the
   earliest possible nanosecond.

   18 -    Law of Cat Embarrassment
   A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment
   times the amount of human laughter.

   19 -    Law of Milk Consumption
   A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he

   20 -    Law of Furniture Replacement
   A cats desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the
   cost of the furniture.

   21 -    Law of Cat Landing
   A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

   22 -    Law of Fluid Displacement
   A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the
   amount of milk consumed.

   23 -    Law of Cat Disinterest
   A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount
   of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

   24 -    Law of Pill Rejection
   Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape

   25 -    Law of Cat Composition
   A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

   26 -    Law of Selective Listening
   Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she
   can't hear a simple command three feet away.

   27 -    Law of Equidistant Separation
   All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from
   each other, and equidistant from the centre of the room.

   28 -    Law of Cat Invisibility
   Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

   29 -    Law of Space-Time Continuum
   Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

   30 -    Law of Concentration of Mass
   A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the
   lap she occupies.

   31 -    Law of Cat Probability (Uncertainty Principle)
   It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the
   probability of where she "might" be.

   32 -    Law of Cat Obedience
   As yet undiscovered