CYBERMOUSE JOKE SQUAD JOKEBOOK.... ON THE JOB ============================================== thanks Linda THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 16. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 17. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 18. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 20. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 21. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 22. Chaos, panic, and disorder --- my work here is done. 23. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 24. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? ---------------------------------------------------- thanks Budd & JR Quotes from the Office "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done." * "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you." * "The beatings will continue until morale improves." * "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired." * "What you see as a glass ceiling, the boss sees as a protective barrier." * "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project." * On their death bed, no one ever said, "I wish I had spent more time in the office." * Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. * ---------------------------------------------------- ============================================== Please feel free to share Cybermouse Joke Squad jokes. Cybermouse claims no ownership or authorship of the materials presented here. They have been scrounged and shared anony-mousely.. authorship is noted where known. --------------------------30------------------------- ====================2004======================