==========================================================
CYBERMOUSE JOKE SQUAD JOKEBOOK.... MERRY CHRISTMAS
==========================================================

 xmas greetings


What did one Angel say to the other ?
Halo there !

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?
Best vicious of the season

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas ?
Cross mouse cards !

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?
A merry Christmas to ewe

What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards ?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!) !

     ----------------------------------------------------

Subject: Hum: A Turkey's Lament 

Thanks Penny


 Black November
 A Turkey's Lament

 When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
 My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

 Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
 And he told me there was something that I had to know;

 His look and his tone I will always remember,
 When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

 "Come about August, now listen to me,
 Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
 And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

 "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
 In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

 "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
 And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

 "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
 "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

 Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
 I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

 And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
 I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

 I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
 High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

 And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
 I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

 I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
 And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

 But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
 As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

 And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
 I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

 So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
 I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

 She held me today, while sewing and humming,
 And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........"



----------------------------------------------------
Subject: hum: Christmas Joke - On Christmas Eve... 

From: Darlene

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly
gates."In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through
the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He
shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "you may pass
through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man
with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The
man replied, "They're Carols."

----------------------------------------------------



===========================================================
Please feel free to share Cybermouse Joke Squad posts with anyone in need
of a chuckle.  Cybermouse claims no ownership or authorship of any
materials contained in this post. They have been scrounged and shared
anony-mousely..  authorship is noted where known.
--------------------------30-------------------------