| Oh, the year was nineteen seventy-eight How I wish I'd never tried it now! When a score of men was turned quite green By the scummiest ale you've ever seen. |
| Chorus God damn them all! I was told This beer was worth its weight in gold We'd feel no pain, shed no tears But it's a foolish man who shows no fear At a glass of Garnet's home-made beer. |
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Oh, Garnet Rogers cried the town How I wish I'd never tried it now! For twenty brave men, all masochists who Would taste for him his home-made brew. |
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This motley crew was a sickening sight How I wish I'd never tried it now! There was caveman Dave with his eyes in bags, He'd a hard boiled liver and the staggers and jags. |
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We hadn't been there but an hour or two How I wish I'd never tried it now! When a voice said, "Gimme some home-made brew!" And Steeleye Stan hove into view. |
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Now Steeleye Stan was a frightening man How I wish I'd never tried it now! He was eight foot tall and four foot wide Said,"Pass that jug or I'll tan your hide!" |
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Stan took one sip and pitched on his side How I wish I'd never tried it now! Old Garnet was smashed with a gutful of dregs And his breath set fire to both my legs. |
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So here I lie with my twenty-third beer How I wish I'd never tried it now! It's been ten years since I felt this way On the night before my wedding day. |
| Chorus |
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