Book of Floyd
{much abridged)
(This message brought to you by Nutley's Glue Stix)
Proverb 80: When an electric exploding octopus steals your purple thingamajig, you know it's time to go home.
Chapter 11. (First Book Of Evil)
1: And one day it came to pass that there was an evil blight upon the land.
2: And verily was it evil.
3: And a blight.
4: Oh, and did I mention that it was upon the land?
5: Thought so.
Chapter 14. (Yet ANOTHER Book Of EvilFNORD!)
13: And so the Grate MOO Proclaimed as follows:
14: When meetest thou a follower of Evil, accosteth him thusly:
15: "Yo! Evil person! I know you're Evil, so there's no point even trying to hide it! YES YOU! Stop being Evil or ELSE!"
16: And if the Evil one says "Or else what?" thou shalt welcome that Evil one as actually being a MOOist in disguise.
17: And if the Evil One sayeth not "Or Else What?" thou shalt also welcome that Evil One as actually being a MOOist in disguise, and stop pretending there's such a thing as Evil.
18: But if the Evil One does neither of these two things, thou must accost him thus:
19: "In the name of someone or other, STOP BEING EVIL!"
20: Repeateth thou this behaviour until the Evil Bung stops being so Evil anymore.
21: And thus ended the proclamation of the Great MOO.
22: And the Penguin did grin, and the MOOists did all feast upon carp and ocelots and breakfast cereals, and celery with this sort of curry-salsa hot sauce, which actually tastes much better than it sounds.
23: Honest.
Chapter 23. (Book Of Stone Carvings)
1: Once upon a wombat, in the world of said wombat,
4: There lived a Hellhound >101<
9: Who has nothing to do with this story.
16: But who did inscribe a Halfy on a rock.
25: He did this in the land of the Gerbil.
36: Which is known as Gobi.
49: And the Halfy was a "W", for Wombat.
64: For truly that is what it actually means.
81: For "W" is the 23rd letter.
Floyd 24:1 : "This is pointless."
Chapter 250. (The Ninth Book Of And)
1: And so it came to pass that there was a great Flying Saucer.
2: And it crashed in Sweden.
3: And it made a big boom.
4: And verily was the boom big.
5: And all did say unto themselves "What the fuck was that?"
6: And all did wonder.
7: And all did approach the Flying Saucer.
8: And so it came to pass that Bubba the Alien did emerge.
9: And did wave.
10: And the people of Sweden did wave back at Bubba.
11: And it developed that Bubba looked reasonably personable.
12: And the Swedes made Bubba their President.
13: And so it was that Sweden was taken by the Aliens.
Confuse-Ing Inter-Rapture # 2
All Other Confuse-Ii In This Annoying Mind Drug Are FAKES!
The CapriCancer Threat Is Over
You May Now Stop Panicking!
Chaper 660. (The Book Of Did I Mention)
1: Did I mention this book is toll free?
Chapter 666. (The Book Of Revelations)
This chapter intentionally left blank.
No, really. It was on purpose.
I meant to do that.